The Clark Chronicle
Volume 9 in       terra       pax       ~       peace       on       earth December 2008

Survive Great Depression II: Your good-natured man’s best friend can be more than simply a snuggly protector.

Survive Great Depression II: Instead of a Nintendo Wii and Mario Kart, try a ball-and-cup!

Survive Great Depression II: As the infrastructure of interstate highways and local arterials collapses into barely-connected potholes, we will need to find alternate commute methods. Sara has been preparing (and hoping) for this eventuality.

Survive Great Depression II: Instead of Guitar Hero, pick up a used set of Lawn Darts from a pawn shop. Heads up!

The Great Depression II Edition

The holiday season is going to feel a little different this year. It’s almost as if the calendar rolled over from 2007 to 1929. Who knew?

We’ve got a few changes in the Clark household thanks to the whole Great Depression II thing. This edition of The Clark Chronicle will include some of the tidbits we’ve learned about frugal living, and we’ve included some Great Depression II survival tips in the sidebar to the right.

fruit of Clark loins: Sara (12½), Amy Lee (3½), and Caleb (6)


Survive Great Depression II: Instead of an iPhone, get two tin cans and some twine!

Survive Great Depression II: Leftover cat food can add nutrition on a budget. Try Meow Mix instead of croutons on your salad! For special occasions, barbecue a can of Fancy Feast! mmmmmeowmmm

This year, if you’re good you’ll get a lump of coal in your stocking. If you’re bad you’ll have to return last year’s coal, or chop down your own firewood.

Survive Great Depression II: Instead of Turducken, prepare your holiday meal entree from your garden: Lettumatobean!

Survive Great Depression II: Recycle this newsletter while saving on your toilet paper bill. Watch out for paper cuts!

Survive Great Depression II: Some years you may have vacationed in Hawaii. This year, bring the luau home to your own kitchen!

orchestra concert

Sara has just completed the first trimester of 7th grade. She is participating in the Honors Program and is really enjoying the classes. Her favorite is science with Mrs. Rivera. Sara has sacrificed many lunch hours to spend that time in the lab room with the dissectascope. Have you ever wondered how many layers of keritin there are in a hoof clipping? Sara’s other classes include: orchestra, English, social studies, math, and Sci-Ma-Tech. Sara will be playing her viola with the orchestra members on December 13th at the Santa party.

first day of kindergarten

BFFs Amy and Caleb (right)
32 squabble-free minutes

Caleb is thoroughly enjoying kindergarten. Mrs. Ross is his most favorite teacher and he loves gym and library and learning American Sign Language along with the rest of his kindergarten class. Our home is decorated with his many art projects and he loves riding on the school bus.

Amy Lee is full of mischief! She is under the impression that she should also be in kindergarten. Amy misses Caleb terribly while he is at school, but leads the welcome committee when he returns each day. She also likes to help bake cookies and set the table.

Sara and Scandal

This holiday season, the economy might be getting flushed down the tubes. Your 401(k) might be down to pennies on the dollar. The Repo Man might be outside right now! taking your car back to the dealer. Your house might be worth a measly half of what you paid for it. But in the midst of all this swirling-the-drain stuff, we still do wish you the very best this season. Whether you prefer to be wished a Merry Christmas, a Happy Holidays, a Pleasant Winter Solstice, a Season’s Greetings, a Happy Festivus, a Happy Chanukah, or a Give An Atheist Kid A Gift For No Reason Day, we hope you have a tremendous holiday season and a wonderful 2009.

Low prices and occasional trampling deaths: doing our part to celebrate the birth of Jesus.
In Gloria Excelsis Deo