The Clark Chronicle
Volume 12 auld       lang       syne       ~       peace       on       earth December 2011

   Amy says all conspiratorially: “Mom thinks she’s better with clothes and fashion than you, Dad.”
   Uhh, yeah, kid, you might be onto something there.

   Once every three or four years (most recently for a week in August 2011) we like to fit two cars in our two-car garage. Just, you know, to prove that it can be done.

   Why doesn’t “onomatopoeia” sound like what it is?

Putting the Fun in School Functions
   The Clark Kids continue their academic journeys; Caleb illustrates winning book posters, Amy’s got rhythm as she sings her heart out, and Sara still contributes to the Mountlake Terrace High School concert orchestra.

Putting the Joie de Vivre in Extracurricular Activities
   The Clarks don’t quit when school’s out, though. Sweat, time, and energy are spent on piano, animals, skateboarding, bicycle riding, basketball, baseball, four-square, and more.

Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays. Pleasant Winter Solstice. Season’s Greetings. Happy Festivus. Happy Hanukkah. Give An Atheist Kid A Gift For No Reason.

   Amy’s stint in the school play as a “Munchkin Mediations” munch-kin let her keep her dance groove groovin’ as she helped illustrate conflict management in a post-wizard Oz.

   Warning labels used to say “Adult Supervision Required.” Now they say “Competent Supervision Required.”
(What a bummer!)

(inspired by a true-life typo)
Enigneer: international nerd of mystery

   So is “Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Film” from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” the same dude as Mr. Purple (“some other guy on some other job is Mr. Purple!”) from “Reservoir Dogs”?

   Who decided that factorials get the exclamation point? I think that other operations are much more exciting.

Lazy or Thorough?
   A family friend who (also) procrastinated on Christmas letters pointed out that a 2011 summary should include the whole year, so it was borderline dishonest to distribute 2011 newsletters with a month still remaining.
   We like this excuse so much that we’re stealing it for ourselves. Even if this reaches you as all your other Christmas correspondence is moldering in the compost pile, know that our journalistic integrity remains unimpeached. You’re welcome and Merry belated Christmas.

Obligatory Family Photo
   Our family stayed busy with school and school-related programs as well as extracurricular activities.
   Living in the Seattle area gives us a wonderful three months per year of awesome weather.

Occupy Disneyland
   The Clarks represented the 99% by visiting Disneyland. (Thanks Grandma and Grandpa!)
   We alternated between occupying free speech zones (also known as “standing in line”) and chanting anti-corporate slogans like “Aauuggh! It’s a pirate cannon!” and “Look! There’s Jack Sparrow!” and “This enchanted Tiki room rocks!”
   The 1% corporate overlords never knew what hit ’em.
   We also mixed up our Occupy protests with some Tea Party protests (below).

   Caleb and Bob shouted revolutionary slogans while coincidentally riding Splash Mountain.

   Santa Claus, arms flung wide in acceptance of us protesters, clearly embraced the Occupy Disneyland movement, inviting all guests and cast members to cast off their capitalistic shackles. At least that’s what we were forced to assume amongst the cheering of the raucous Mickey-Mouse-hatted, Disney-logo-apparel-wearing, Disney-Main-Street-parade-watching crowd.
   And I suppose that we could do worse than pass along the best holiday wishes from The Walt Disney Company® to you!


Clark Chronicle 2011 PDF (29 MB)